Cabine #13 RA-PE Come here. Come real close to me. Let’s do an exercise together? We are going to say a word. I say it and you repeat it wherever you are. Rape. RA-PE. The fear we have to say this word causes a social silence about it.
Everything is an excuse not to call it by its right name. We say ‘violated’, ‘sexually assaulted’, ‘abused’… However, we avoid this word: rape. ‘Ah, but can’t I be afraid of being raped, Sheylli?’. Of course. Unfortunatelly, you MUST fear it. I, Sheylli Caleffi, was raped.
And statitics are that 130 women are raped each day in Brazil. One every 11 minutes. 4 in 10 women you know. And if you don’t know anyone, it is certainly because you haven’t touched this subject yet. Because YOU are also afraid.
We are scared of being judged, attacked yet again by people pointing fingers at us, trying to find an answer to what happened to us in us. Every woman who is raped is going to end up hearing someone saying:
‘But where were you?’ ‘Were you alone?’ ‘Did you know him?’ ‘What clothes were you wearing?’ ‘Did it happen at a bar? Were you drinking?’ And the worst of all: ‘Did he finish?’ None of these questions make any difference for us rape survivors.
I have two close friends who reported their rapists and were able to have them arrested. I wasn’t successful yet, and I was very mistreated at the police station. I was alone. If you are going to report a rape crime, try to take someone else with you.
And if you who are listening to me work assisting these women, assiting me, try to put yourself in our shoes, because it is a really difficult moment. Really difficult. Is reporting important? YES! Super! But nobody has a how-to-respond-to-rape kit inside their purse.
If you cried, you’re right! If you ran, you’re right! It you hit your rapist, you’re right! If you pretended to like it, for it to end quicker, you are right! If you reported it, you are right! And if you never reported or told anyone, you are right!
When someone is raped everybody wants to know why it happened. But there’s only one answer: I was raped because a man believed he had the right to do anything he wanted to me. And that’s the reason you were also raped, and so many other women and children are and will be raped.
Rape has nothing to do with sex. It has everything to do with power. He thinks what he wants is more important than what the woman wants. He thinks he’s superior. That is what sexism is.
If you want to support who’s been throught it, stop making questions. Why do you want to know the details? To confirm it really was rape? Do ask how she is, ask if she needs help. They are your co-workers, your daughters, your mothers, your friends, your girlfriends.
When it happened to me I made a video. Out of a hundred thousand people who watched it, one called asking me if I needed help. Nobody from my family called. It was like it never happened. What about you? Are you ready to listen? Because we are not going to stay quiet anymore. ♪
‘Are you going to breastfeed HERE? In public?’ ‘Ah, but you are not breastfeeding? Poor baby, it’s so good for them.’ Breastfeeding is important. Besides being an act of love, it is a political act. We know how important breast milk is for a baby’s well-being. We watch campaigns in the media…
But do you know it is not just about taking the baby and nursing them?
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